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ADDED JAN 7 09 Day in life Christmas

One of my friends gave me a GPS for Xmas and I love it. I can now find myself when lost and even use it as a phone. It is too cool! What I really like about it is that you seem to build a relationship with who ever is inside your box. I have fallen in love with Daniel from Britain. Our relationship started in New Jersey when we really got to know each other. I feel he was frustrated with me because he had to keep recalculating. I knew he wanted to yell at me but he was patient. As our conversations grew deeper I just knew we were a match. I would talk on and he would interrupt me every so often to tell me different things. Finally I popped the question and asked him if he liked me in that special way. He never answered me and I think it is because he  is shy. I don't care though because I know I turn him on every time I get into the car!

I know if I made my version of the garmin GPS it would be much different.  The one I have gives me options. I can get anyone from any country but with my garmin, we would keep it real!

Let's say you pick Patrick from Ireland to be your guide. Directions would sound like this.

" alright you bloody bastard so you want to go to the wal-mart do ya?"

" listen up, get your arse in the wagon, go 2 blocks until you see the Gillies pub on your left, get out and have ONLY 2 pints, get your bloody arse back in when yar done. Drive 6 miles and make a left when you see Erins Pub, get out and have you another pint. Don't screw it up you hear me? Don't let the paddy busters get yar arse. I said keep BOTH hands on the wheel! Okay do yar eyes are a bit blurry, just hold her steady the bloody wal-mart is on yar right."

If you were using the Italian man named Antknee.

Bada bing bada boom, get your big ass in da car! So wha, where we going bro? Does my hair look good, enough gel? How you like these dolce, chic hugh?

Pick your options of what you wanna do. Just tap it bro, a, b or c and Antknee will get you there.

A- dispose of bodies

B- manicure

C- mob hit AND run

If you pick the French man named Andre.

Good morning my pet:* please tell me your destination. Do you care to eat first? Some fruit and caviar? Cheese and vine wine? Oh, it looks like two blocks ahead is a riot on the streets. Turn around and fast! Looks like after your turn there is a underarm braiding boutique, sweet! Shall we go?

If you picked the Polish guy named Sven.

" um look, I don't know why they put me in this box. I don't know anymore then you do!"

If you pick the German guy. He doesnt give out his name or any personal info. In fact you don't tell him where your going, he tells you.

" uh huh, I don't think so. You will go where I say you will go AND when. Um NO, not going to happen. You think so? We will see about that. So what are you going to do when I refuse to let your car start? I thought so. See I always win, I'm a German after all!"

In my system I will also have some you can pick from that will boost your moral.

I have Edward and he is gooooood! Here is a sample of what Edward will say.

Hello beautiful! Did you lose weight? My God you really MUST eat! Your going to fade away to nothing!

I see you had no time for make up. Oh you do have it on? I could not tell. I thought it was your natural beauty!

If I were your boss you would get that promotion, snap snap! Do you want me to massage your neck and back later on?

How is the boy friend? Oh honey you can do so much better, why just look at you!

For the men I have Jen Aniston. She will say things like this.

I see nothing but hair! What bald spot?

You look hot today, go get em tiger!

Is that really you down there? No way! I thought you were packing some sausage!

I think all my GPS units would sell out fast!

I just came from an African safari and that was AMAZING!!! OMG I loved it! I love Africans!!!  I got to go for two days and when I saw this lion I hopped out of the jeepie thing and ran at him. The man was going to shoot him but I yelled no and then the lion went down. At first I thought a sleeping dart got him but it didn't he just laid down for me like my Crookie monster. That's Admiral Crooked Bones my cat. The people that were Africans really liked me and called me this odd term. They tried to feed me weird things and said I was a healer but I'm not at all. The man from the jeep threw me off the safari but I had already done it anyway. I had the best time there. The people were so nice and they are oppressed so I told them how to riot. I know they had fun too. I even got to run around with a machetes. I'm now also a real Queen of a village. I have finally reached royal status!

I'm back and typing up my day in the life again. I'm in Tuscaloosa Alabama and I have already had a run in with the natives. In Alabama there seems to be a bug situation out of control! Now I'm a hamburger kinda girl and I'm not uppity in any kind of way but I abhor dirt and roaches. To me it is one in the same.  I get into my hotel, Masters Inn and I get all naked and comfy. I take my Dr Pepper to the fridge and spot a crew of roaches gone wild!  I grab the sheet from the bed and it is covering my body and part of my head. I run out to the parking lot and someone yells kkk! I'm yelling NO its roaches help help please I'm being killed. Now mind you it is a Friday night and I'm not looking like the natives. You won't believe what they were yelling at me but this one nice man came in and killed them as best he could. He then offered to spend the night but I politely told him no. He then told me I could greatly benefit from it.  I started thinking back to my time on Africa when this guy straight out of the airport asked me if I needed peenhus and that's how he said it too. He asked if I needed it and they way he said it I thought he was talking about some kind of food. So I didn't understand him and pointed to my hand and he said no so I pointed to my mouth and he got do excited. Needless to say I finally figured out what he was talking about!

I'm still out and about and will keep you updated.

Real quick I want to tell you about these homeless people I met. Then I want to tell you about all theses other semi normal people I met.

First of all one of the many high lights of being in New Orleans was I was close to the walmart that was looted! I paid homage to it or rather homeless to it. Thank God the traps in my life never read these things because this is considered a deadly but not a grade A one. There is grade A,B,and C and I have figured them out. This is a grade c.

Three homeless people found me, they always do. It was right after the veitnam vet and the mother of the two month old hit me up for money. Prior to that this woman asked me for money to get away from her abusive vampire lover. No, I'm not kidding. I had a wonderful idea for the homeless. You all already know what it is, walmart! I said to them" follow the yellow brick road" they asked me where is that? Its that stream of pee all the way to my tire. Then I asked them if they had head lice or crapped their pants, all were no's so I gave them a new life at walmart and tips on how to blend in. I felt like my charity was well done.

Now that I'm home I will try to tell you everything that happened on my trips.

Lets start with the Devils mansion. This is really scary too. I was out and about in the French Quarter and met these two nice ladies near the Court of Two Sisters. They were both psychics and the one began to tell me of my past life which is what caught my attention. She actually said I was a pirate back in the day and of course that makes sense.  Then she went on about other lives and what was going to be happening in the future. She told me I was extremely psychic which is no biggie. I wanted to hear more about past lives. She told me I had someone in my life that was extremely ill tempered and as weird as myself,not really a surprise there! She also said they were really super smart and that you can not ride out the temper not even with words of niceness. That kinda sucked because I really thought I was making head way.

I move on to the Absinthe Bar and have God knows what. I'm feeling really good. My only concern is that before going out I have two drinks in the Hotel and I don't drink but rarely so I was feeling it. I then attempted to put on make-up and I swear I looked like a circus or porn star. Either way I was told I looked good. But again it was dark outside,thankfully. After being under the influence of some unknown to man drink that nearly knocked me on my butt I began asking strangers how I looked. Some ran from me and others stopped and took a good look. I hid after I saw the police arrested a woman for probably the same thing as me,drunken abandonment!

It was at this time that I caught back up with the two ladies who wanted to be so close to me. At first I thought it was strange but then with booze taking it's effect I wandered off with them. Bad,Bad,Bad idea!

Right now I'm watching Clean house with those two old ladies. I love that show. You also get great cleaning tips. OMG this guys house is so dirty I could not even walk in to it,I know I would die.

So off I go with the two ladies and they tell me about a really cool place that is haunted. I'm always excited to hear that even when I'm not thinking clearly so off I go. When we get there I meet a man named Luci,you say it Lucy. In my half drunken state I did not realize nor make the connection with the name. Nor did I remember what Martin had told me about meeting a bad person in New Orleans.

Luci was GORGEOUS! He was charming and seductive and you wanted to have sex with him right away. Throw morals to the wind and baby disrobe! However I did not do any of those things. Luci looked me dead in the eyes and said to me " I shall take you places you have never been. I shall show you things you have never seen and then I will consume you with an exquisite passion." Now I have heard that phrase before but OMG the passion part sounded so good that who freakin cared! Luci asked me to lay down and I did because I really liked the furniture. I'm into unique things,old things. He sat down next to me and touched my knee which began to create a hot sensation which crept up my entire body. I knew to get out of there but I did not move. I don/t know why but I can guess why I did not make more of an effort. I mean can you fault me for it?

Later on after my ordeal I was told by a dead man that the story is not a story but a truth told time and time again. The Devil or Old Pip as he was called walks the French Quarter. So here is the story that some of you might know. But the real story is that it is true. Legends are born out of something and this legend is real as is the house which still stands waiting for the next unsuspecting person.

Madeleine Frenau was a woman in New Orleans that sought pleasure and exotic things. She practiced VooDoo rituals and anything occult. She also wanted a man that would bring her riches and was a good lover. At some point she met Luci and he said to her "I shall take you places you have never been,show you things you have never seen and I will consume you with exquisite passion." She could feel the desire that Eve felt at his voice and touch. Madeleine became Lucifers lover. He gave her anythings he wanted,diamonds,gold,Jewels,anything. Lucifer is a very generous man?

Becoming his lover she feel into his arms and into a black void. She felt him penetrate her farther then she thought he could go. Her insides exploded in a sea of steaming semen. Lucifer laughed caused the clouds to weep. At the moment of her orgasm Lucifer said to her "My love drink of my blood for when you do you shall see my life,my soul and my desires. And yes my dear you will also see my dread.

Madeleine being who she was could not remain faithful and took on other lovers which were all turned into blackened souls when she was done with them. Her companions became demons with the oddest of names. When Old Pip found out the indiscrections he killed her in a torturous way. Lucifer at the time moved on to another location. The house had many occupants but they all never stayed long because of what they saw in the house. In the 30's or 40's the house was torn down. So you now must be asking then how could I have gone there? Well while we think it is no longer there and in fact it is not but it LIVES in another location in the French Quarter. The house will never die. It waits for it's victims,those wandering strangers that happen upon New Orleans looking for a thrill.

Also while in New Orleans I saw many people that were no longer living. Going into the city there was a dark cloud the day I entered. I have pictures. I was also there for New Years Eve which was something to see on Bourbon Street, I have pictures of that too.

I went to the Lalaurie Mansion which I was not allowed into. It is owned by Nick cage I believe and he does not want anyone to exploit the spirits. I think that is very nice of him. To be honest I didn't need to go all the way in anyway because you can see them from the street if you have the sight. The things and the people I saw would make you throw up,it was that bad. None of those people have moved on. WHen you can see the dead they also show you things IF they are able. Only one of the spirits was able to show me the entire story. This is because many of them are insane and most likely why they have not moved on. The suffring and pain that these people have experienced is beyond our own imaginations.

Most people believe that Madame Lalaurie was the one that caused all the suffering and pain but she was not. Her husband was just as bad and he was a doctor.  All that I knew I was shown by a little girl that to this day refuses to leave the home. She will not leave because at one point there was a girls school there and one of the little girls died and they are play mates. The little girl showed to me what happened and how it happened. It was to disgusting to print but I will tell you what I saw.

One lady was a human furry worm,she had antlers in her head which made her insane. There was a young boy about 10 who had his mouth sewed shut and a man with all his skin removed that had maggots and bugs crawling on him. These things I'm sure you have heard but you have never felt such suffering as these people have. Another thing is they were blood drinkers,both of them.  So many strange things go on in New Orleans that it would take me all day to write about them but still I have one more. No forget it because I will put it on another listing.

Now I will get to what I have up for sale. These are the spirits of the earth snake.

You are getting Proteus. He is a Primordial that can foretell the future.

Regents of the earth- These are all the spirits that reside on the earth and you get what qualities they hold and the magic they can do for you.

The Abode of the Rishis- These are the bestowers of Eternal Bliss and Immortaility. He who lives in God the or the Eternal, who is free from egoism, likes and dislikes, selfishness, vanity, mine-ness, lust, greed and anger, who is endowed with equal vision, balanced mind, mercy, tolerance, righteousness, cosmic love and who has divine knowledge is a saint.

 Saints and sages are blessings to the world at large. They are the custodians of superior divine wisdom, spiritual powers and inexhaustible spiritual wealth. Even kings bow their heads at their lotus-feet. King Janaka said to Yajnavalkya: “O venerable sage, I am grateful to your exalted Holiness for obtaining the ancient wisdom of the Upanishads through your lofty and sublime instructions. I offer my whole kingdom at thy feet. Further I am thy servant. I will wait on thee like a servant”. Such is the magnanimous nature of saints and sages. Their very existence inspires others and goads them to become like them and attain the same state of bliss as achieved by them. Had it not been for their existence, there would not have been spiritual uplift and salvation for you all. Their glory is indescribable. Their wisdom is unfathomable. They are deep like the ocean, steady like the Himalayas, pure like the Himalayan snow, effulgent like the sun. One crosses this terrible ocean of Samsara or births and deaths, through their grace and Satsanga or association with them. To be in their company is highest education. To love them is highest happiness. To be near them is real education.

They wander from village to village and disseminate divine knowledge. They move from door to door and impart wisdom. They take a little for their bare maintenance and give the highest education, culture and enlightenment to the people. Their very life is exemplary. Whether they deliver lectures or not, whether they hold discourses or not, it matters little.

Saints and sages only can become real advisers of kings because they are selfless and possess highest wisdom. They only can improve the morality of the masses. They only can show the way to attain eternal bliss and immortality and that is what they will embed you with. That same knowledge and power.

Suddhodana and the Dream Readers. These are the Dream Readers with 7 gifts of extreme power given to you.

Loves Prison House- How to obtain true love and happiness even in a bad relationship.

The Ride Abroad- This is the ride of the Heavens and to communicate with the angelic beings and to see beyond what your eyes are capable of.

Sibylla-In ancient legends women who could predict the future were called sibyls. These prophets were believed to be inspired by the gods and were found primarily in the famous oracle centers, particularly those of Apollo, the Greek god of prophesy. Sibyls were believed to live 900 to 1,000 years. According to the legends, some could interpret dreams and others could make their voices heard after death.

Tradition holds that there was originally a great prophet in Asia Minor whose name was Sibylla. From the late 4th century BC the number of prophets increased. They were scattered throughout the classical world and were distinguished by individual names, "sibyl" being treated as their title. Their predictions were taken down in writing and consulted when a problem arose.

According to one of the legends, a collection of prophecies predicting the destiny of the Roman state, the Sibylline Books, was offered for sale to Tarquinius Superbus, the last king of Rome, by the Cumaean sibyl, in the 6th century BC. He refused to pay her price, so the sibyl burned six of the books before finally selling him the remaining three at the price she had originally asked for all nine. The books were thereafter kept in the temple of Jupiter on the Capitoline Hill, to be consulted only in emergencies. This Woman is heard still after death and she will be with you to guide you and to help in time of extreme need and emergencies. The above definition was taken from Comptons Dictionary to better explain it to you.

Celestial Dancers- These are women not made of flesh and Bone but women that dance in order to create an enlightened human,meaning you. They do this so that you may enter a holy place and gain the magic from there as if you were there and had already died. You do not die.

Kama- The full Kamasutra in spirit,divine passion.

Well of the Riches- This is the wealth of the earth as YOU need it. This covers charity for others and wealth for yourself as well. It is a deep well that springs forth from the material world.

This item is extremely beautiful and my camera really did not capture it's beauty.

More items are coming on today. I hope that you all enjoy them.